I saw her...

I saw her


It was her alright,
I am not mistaken
It is deffinitely her
Our eyes met,
We both instantly recognised each other,
But we both looked away,
But I realise she had more intense watch over me
Those eyes,
It reminds me of someone dear to me,
Those expression...its all the same,
To think that we could have been family one day,
And now we don't even bother ,
I aint blamin' you love, cus it aint your fault,
Even she ditched me big time,
So I can expect nothing much from you,
Especially when your entire family hates me.
But silently I hoped you would have at least said HI to me,
You didn't,
You acted like everyone else...
I cared for you as much....
I didnt change but all of you did...
And I am not appreciated for what I've given.
Again I aint blamin you gurl..
It aint your fault, it just runs in the family..

Past couple of weeks have been bad for me,
My nightmares became intense and it lasted for days,
Snuffing the life out of me...
I lived through day and night, and I survived somehow,
Just when the wounds are starting to heal,
Just when I am getting back on my track to move on,
I saw you....
And my wound was cut open again...
Memories pierced through the shadows of my eyes,
I tried to put it a side...
But this fogged mind became even more foggy...
Tell me love, how do you want me to move on,
When I keep coming back to where I began....
How am I to get over it,
When its all over me......

Love the game, break the heart, forget the play....

Well since everyone is one game mood these days especially since the world cup fever is increasing the heat exponentially, figured i could do some reflection on a likewise situation as well. As I watch 20 players run accross the field chasing after a ball while another 2 chase it away as it approaches just made me wonder. What is so great about this game that people all around the world are crazy about it. The answer didn't dawn to me, but my best shot would be its the desire that comes out of enjoying the game. We see how people jump with joy, including the fans when one team trimphs over another, while we see how the defeat break tears of others. Honestly that's what I call passion.

Ever wonder how people will react when they have to give up their passion??? I wonder what the heck Shearer is doing now that he has hung his boots. What about Roy Keane...Not that I am keen of him but just that he hung his boots way earlier than Shearer. Sort of came by unexpectedly. I wonder what Bergkamp gonna do.. What about all those retirees??? People like Neil Webb...As age catches up with them they are forced to halt their game... Thus there goes their love...All they could do is to talk about it...But never feel nor show it... I wonder how people like Ronaldo gonna go by it.. Even Batistua is benched as he ages. Early signs that he is gonna have to nail the wall to hang his boots as well... Ironic isn't it...They play so well...They give their heart to it..When they go down...they are like in a battlefield...The fight with all the might they have and yet no matter how good they are, they are no match for time... As time moves on so does their physical structure which cannot provide the same speed or strength for them to keep going on...Eventually they have to give up and make way for the younger generations... And the cycle continues...

Like I said ironic isn't it, what we love, we have to loose. Now as I mentioned a couple of times, I aint a football fan. Not really...I am just joining the crowd and passing my time thats all. The real reason was because I too have a game I love...Badminton. People who knew me close enough will know that I love that game very much. I am not an extremely talented player. But I still play for the love of the game. No matter who I am up against, I would give my best. Running and throwing myself across the court just to get a hit on the shuttle cock. I really enjoyed the game very much. No, I didn't give up the game cus age caught up wif me. I am still young. But the real reason being cus my arm got dislocated. Doctor said it is minor as the dislocation can easily be pushed back to the origin. Every time during the game my arm will dislocate at least once. And all those time it was only the pain. It is momentarily, but will deffinitely take my life away. But without much care I will continue back to the game... Then came one day when I needed to hang my racquet as the doctor advised me to go for complete healing... I was playing as usual and again the incident happened and this time my bone really came sticking out. I saw with my own eyes one side of my skin is buldging out. The pain was nothing like I've felt before. It was painful but I kept hitting the buldging area and by force pushed it back to replace the displacement... After a while I could lift my hand again, but I was too terrified to play the game. Consultation with the doctor just made it worse. He asked me not to touch the game for a couple of months.... And so I did, I wne tot Uni, tried to play but gave up cus people there each and every one of them can beat me in 0. So I guessed they wouldn't wanna waste time wif me, plus I dont wanna interrupt their wonderful game. Furthermore it could do me good with my complete healing process....Took me couple of years before I picked up the racquet again. But horror has the most gracious way to strike fear into many... I played again with couple of colleagues back at where I work.... One smash, and the pain I came back. I writhed in silence, didnt show any emotions to any of my friends. Toned down my game....well my arm gave away anyway. I mean after few years of complete cut out, to return back to the form was just not an overnight task...And now I am burdened with a pain... What else can I do, but to seriously consider giving up the game without looking back...

Well yeah maybe my story may have sounded sad, but then hey it aint end of life matter...As much as I love it, it is just a game at the end of the day.... I started playing squash...It was similar to badminton so I got the hang of it quite fast and the best part is that I never felt that pain ever again... But then I have to give up even on that game for other reasons...Well guess sports wasn't exactly meant for me...

Can you hear it...echoes of realmz....

Emily

This post is dedicated to one of my colleague. As it is now, she has left me at the Starbucks to go greet her brother so that they can have dinner. Lousy girl leaving me here to look after her things...Hahahaha...Just kidding..She asked me out for dinner, but I politely declined so that I can take my time to make my first ever entry from Starbucks. I had several other topics in mind but decided to just stick with this dedication.

Me and Emily aint exactly that close to be accurate, but we are still friends, and to be at a place where a simple "hi" from me can invoke a wrong impression I am just as glad to be accepted by this cute little girl. At a company where people like me were prosecuted, for being just US...She in the midst accepted us for who we are.

She is a very strong girl. Less than a month ago her mom passed away, but here she is today after submitting her resignation all so pshyched up about leaving this country and continue her journey at Macao. That pretty much summarized the reason for this dedication post. I recall when I called as I found out about her mother's departure. Likewise many, I felt sorry for her...and for a very long time now I havent been much of a good comfort for many in peril..So I was quite tensed on what should I say and stuffs. But this girl completely relieved the burden of me as when she answered my call...She wasnt crying ...She was sad as naturally one could be, but she didnt shed a tear. She got over her mom's death very fast. Not that she didn't love her...But she just conceded to the fact that the time has come to past for her mom and for many it will come sooner or later. I mean eventually there are plenty of people who could move on with their life...but to move on so fast...this girl really earned my salute...

Emily aint like many girls.. Most girls I have seen are very predictable...But she is different..Every time we talk she just amaze me with very different perspective....Ususally I can guess what the heck a girl gonna say....But Emily, I am having hard time decyphering her. Maybe she aint too complicated at all...

Now the most common Q as of now that would be lingering in my loyal readers' mind - "he seems interested in her, why aint he going after her?" Hey I am not gonna deny my interest on her. In fact I was interested in her even before we became friends...Cus she looks good, got a good smile and I like that in a girl. I am not sure if she would have rejected me or not had I asked her out...But I am sure I didnt find out the answer to that, mainly because of my own emotional state that I wasn't ready to be attached with anyone. Plus I didnt wanna just barge into a relationship that I am not very well versed of. I know some may say that is the point of the whole relationship. Journey together towards the awaiting world. Well I just thought I needed my own time before I accumulate the guts to venture into another relationship.

Well, my intentions were short lived. A friend of mine got to the base first and she accepted him. I didnt feel hurt. Maybe cus I wasn't too committed in wanting her even then. But whats worse was that their relationship was short lived as well... My friend, the bastard dumped after a couple of months. Probably slightly more than a month only if I could recall it. Between my friend and Emily, there could be a thousand reasons why he dumped her, but my coin is because she didn't wanna bed with him. Kinda sad aint it, to break an innocent girl's heart just because she didn't give in to the guy's desire. Looks like relationship these days are nothing but a background of bedroom as its top priority. I felt sad for her, but she again got over it quite fast. She told me she teared as it happened...For all I care it wasn't a relationship worth wasting her tears on. Probably she could have cried her heart off at vase of new seeds. At least that would have gotten more nutrition thus flowering at the end of the day... After the whole thing...My mind suggested again to try for her, but then I was just too comfortable with being a friend only. Plus being from the same group - me and my friend that is, I dont think so its gonna look good for her, had I approached and she accepted, not to mention that she herself might be dealing with a trauma. Like I said I was comfortable at the way things just are and she never knew anything about any of this. and this probably is the best parting gift I could give her. Honest expression from my heart; something many fail to deliver while others failed to receive.

Well now she is leaving, I wish her all the best from my heart. Hope we could keep in touch, though I am pretty pretty sure its gonna be hard on her end especially...And also I hope she doesn't get cheated again, especially when she is at a foreign land.

That's about it, I have completed my first ever starbucks free wifi sourced entry. Peace out and love ya Emily....

Can you hear it...the echoes of realmz....

Its not football....Its WORLDCUP

Cus it didn’t happen then…but only now…when WORLD CUP is on…..

You know if you guys ever work where I earn my living, I bet ya'll one thing. It can turn a non freak into one. Yup, you see I wasn't really a football fan. If anything I was a badminton fan and even that has long gone. But where I work, I am surrounded by colleagues and customers who are hardcore football fans. Further more, boring work, 42" plasma with football matches all day long.Yup, blending into this I can only expect one thing; that I too will soon join their club.

True enough at this very moment, I am amazed at my own talent on how I am able to talk about football with everyone and make them stick to their seat listening to my analysis. Honestly, I still do not enjoy footbal.. I mean I am just not all crazy about it, but then again I am able to give some valid and constructive run down. Just to add to it, so far all my predictions even came true. I bet anyone can predict the outcome of the match, but for non football fan like me, to predict the exact score just made me famous. Its like all those bloody gamblers want to listen to my wise predictions. Jack it of people; I aint no fortune teller. I gladly admit that it was luck so far. All this in less than a year of exposure. God I'm good...Hahahaha...

All the talk about how football unites people, everyone talks about it...bla..bla...bla ads...I thought its ridiculous but was I wrong. I mean football did really got the world talking. I have few colleagues that we barely met eyes; not to mention smiled or even exchanged few words unless anything official. But was I suprised when all thise people all in a sudden are my best friends. I mean all in a sudden all of them are talking with me about football. And to know that I am able to chat with some of them who once I regarded as snobbish just proved my whole labelling went wrong. Whaddya know?? They are friendly and chatty after all...

So I guess football does hold an impact towards the entire world. It makes people react differently...Sometimes I wonder all this war about peace... Why can't we just use football to create that peace... I mean everyone loves it....And usually the one that holds the biggest influence over people can get people to do anything...So my crazy idea is saying football has the biggest influence since like forever...Why not we ask football to lead the world...Hahahaha....Crazy me out....

Can you hear it...echoes of the realmz....

What's the different between you and a HO???

Was just having a casual conversastion with one of my subordinate. Was tryin to tease her a little as much as get a story out of her. The conversation wasn't much... It was the usual rambling...But somehow I wanted to post it here..

You see this girl has a bf; so I was asking her how often you call him. And she replied that she never calls him. Only he calls her. When I asked her why she gave the typical answer. Phone got no credit. I told her to top it up to which she replied that her boyfriend will do that for her. I continued, "so how often does he tops up and how much longer does it take before your credit runs out talking with him??"... The answer sort of suprised me a little..She said even after he tops up, she wont call him. It is still he who calls her. What the fuck??? You telling me that he tops up the credit so that you can go and flirt around with others????...Yeah I asked her that bluntly. Of course she became all so defensive saying she doesnt flirt with anyone else...Bla bla bla.So what the jack you spend your credit on if not your boyfriend... I mean that guy tops it up for you. If you gonna talk with your parents why dont they top it up for you....Oh, thats right...You are working now aint you...So you gotta look after your own expenses...But your boyfriend tops up for you. You dont have any liabilities to deal with so what the jack you do with your money...She bluntly replied "I keep it for shopping"...What the jack...So what do you spend for your bf?? " Nothing" she replied. The boyfriend looks after all her expenses....

She even continued by saying " My money is my money, his money is also my money"...So I asked her what does her boy friend gets out of this whole relationship thingie...." I look after him"...Wait you look after him??? How the hell are you looking after him when he's the one digging his wallet. Looking after cause a hefty you know. And how the jack are you looking after him when both of you are miles apart....Again she answered " there are ways to look after him without spending money one"....."Plus I can get more benefits for less work when we are apart"....Ohhhhh I get it where this is going...For all you know you are just whore that he bangs whenever he likes....."No, No we are in love...He loves me and likewise I do the same" she scowled... I told her sharply " You are talking about benefits and work and money as the main priority in your relationship; how does that constitutes love....You would want him to die for you but heck you wouldnt wanna do the same thing would you. If there is another guy richer you may just go for him won't you??? So how is that a"in love" relationship" Honestly what do you think is the difference between you and a HO????

Well that be it she broke into tears and kept her mouth shut...Life has changed so much.....LOVE = MONEY...What a weird equation.

Can you hear it??? The echoes of realmz....

The Sabath is Over

It has been more than a month since I last blogged. Often whenever I am back from holidays, I'd be too lazy to blog again, yet somehow managed to keep up with it. But this time I thought of taking a break. Not that I ran out of topics to mumble about. But I thought June would be filled with more and better stories. I am very well aware that I do not have much fans and regular visitors to my blog. But there is one that often annoys me to update my blog. Well thanks to his kickstart hopefully I would be back active again. Already lined up few topics to talk about. I am not gonna promise revamped or better that ever kind of thing. In fact it is pretty much the same ol' style from me. Hopefully I wont go into hibernation again. As I think about it, it is not yet my time to give up on my blog. There is just too much for me to talk about. As I lack of friends who sincerely listens to my expression, I find blogging is the only way I can let the world know who the jack I am... So people whoever you are...Wait up...