Reformating your Brain....

Some one I knew, and still know but just a know…that’s all…Not exactly really knowing that person anymore..Well u get the picture right…Anyway this person once asked me – “If you could erase your past memories, which one would you erase”. Note that when the person asked me this Q, she was somehow hoping that I would say memories about her.

Instead, I sharply answered- “I wouldn’t erase any, as I don’t know how things would have turned up to be if it didn’t happen the way it did….It did curled well didn’t it?”

Somehow nowadays as I look back at my past, the more I spend time in it, the more I wish the memory erasing technique in the movie PayCheck exist. Not one day, went by that I didn’t wish for serious memory damage. Somehow I pray I will forget my past with that person. Nevertheless other part of me still too afraid to loose the precious memory…But the again, it is only precious if it ended well, otherwise I am just waiting to be erased.

Don’t worry to the rest of you….U guys haven’t been bad enough for me to erase..So I’ll remember u people…

A fresh start without load and burden of garbage memories…Sounds fresh heh???

Where Fantasy and Reality Cross Paths…..Reformat Completed…….

Friends can be Bastards.....

It doesn’t fail to surprise me why sometimes I have bastard friends…Cus they are bastards of course, and most of them are my friends. I am not making any sense am I??? Well I thought so…well this post goes to some of my friends…if they happen to read my blog, well I cant be bothered if they felt the pinch. Otherwise I am sure we are all good buddies…and of course I am not talking about all, but particularly this one person who reminded me of my past in a very crucifying way that I believe I do have a few around my block to be associated with.

Its really amazing how sometimes friends can be so “sensitive” to ur own feelings and just like to blutter out everything they have. Maybe cus they thought I can handle it. Well yes I can handle it, that’s why they are still my friends, but I just hope at times that these ppl will have some common sense.

Even when we met some one who we are not lose with, but still the moment we hear some sad news regarding them, we tend to say sorry and be careful as not to say anything that might offend them. The courtesy surprisingly doesn’t exist among people we are close with.

Just 2 days ago, I had this friend who bluntly asked me “You cant win over him also hah”. Well I am sure most of u will be puzzled by the statement, but nevertheless it is meant for me and it was brought forth in a way that it stinged me hard. What the fuck u mean I cant win. U think I am in any position to win??? Especially when I have “undying” supporters like u who keep on asking me to move on. What the fuck is up with that????

Sometimes honestly, people just don’t care what they say…U know very well that it might hurt badly if u mention certain thing, then u shouldn’t mention. Not bluntly like that of course. If u wanna talk about it, can….But there should be proper tone and approach. U are not the only one who talks to me about it, but how come I am not offended by them but with u I am. Thats because they know how to surface issues u dumbass….

Well I guess this post has mainly been about my rage against some one. It wasn’t a big deal, but it didn’t change a fact that I was pissed at the moment.

Where Fantasy and Reality Cross Paths….KNNCCB…….

Monotonous GoodBye

Joanne : Hey, I know u transferred department right??

Me : How come u know?

Joanne : Ur friend told me…

Me : Ok….

Joanne : Anyway ur boss is on the way…

Me : My what?? Who??

Joanne : Bala larrr…

Me : Ohhhhhh….Ok then…

Joanne : Hey, I am living this place. I am going off to China to further my studies.

Me : What??? Now only you telling me???

Joanne : I called you to tell, but u didn’t pick up ur phone.

Me : No….You didn’t call me to tell me that. U just returned my missed call.

Joanne : …………….

Me : Why are you going again???

Joanne : To complete my practical in Chinese medicine. I am going there to graduate my
Studies….

Me : How long have u been studying???

Joanne : 5 years ready.

Me : How come u never told me???

Joanne : I never told any one…..

Me : Oooook!!! Have fun then…..

Joanne : What?!!! Like that only hah???

Me : Ur friend is here….

After that conversation I left…. She didn’t know how sad I was to see her leave. Even worse, was when I treated her closely, she still kept me apart…and since she treated me in such way, that was indeed a monotonous goodbye…She will never know how I felt, and she never will….

Where Fantasy and Reality Cross Paths…….Goodbye my friend…….

Unfit 4 LOVE

I had this topic since a very long time ago, but decided to treat it as a foolish believe until recently when all came back to me again..

Well, I kept on pondering why the heck am I not loved, or maybe I am but it’s a thin line to be noticed. But what I ponder more is so far till today none of those I loved stood long with me. All this tracks back as far as I could recall in my life.

When I was in primary school, I had this friends, whom till today I would find them to be a dear part of my life. I don’t know why, but maybe cus they are the one that I really ever made the friendship tie to begin with. But as I recall it today, I don’t know where the hell are they. Lost completely out of touch from them.

Then came the time when I was close with a relative and his family. I really like to be with them, but unfortunately my parents are not so keen about them and since I was young, I am barely capable of doing anything that is of my wish, and I lost them as well.

Along the way came a cousin and few other friends, but who knows this cousin as well as the friends will backstab me at my own backyard. So much for the bond I had with them.

Further ahead came most of my UNI friends and the girl I truly love till today. But courses then, work now, turned us into separate ways. Differences in ideologies are small issues to remedy. But things got way too complicated when racism, irresponsibilities, backstabings aqnd selfishness took a toll where I became an outcast for loving.

Ever since I never really revealed myself truly to anyone. Mainly the fear of being vulnerable as well as losing the ones I love will be a great pain. So I decided not to love thus there will not be pain in losing any of the new found souls. I decided to live it that way, until recently, met a friend. I tried so hard to be close, yet my fear held me back. Recently she told me she is going away, and I calmly waved her goodbye…Gone again people I love. Don’t know how many more are waiting in the list.

Somehow I feel like I am cursed out of love. No one, I love stay with me. Yeah it is fiction of life, but not even one single glory…Now that’s déjà vu.

Maybe that’s the reason why I never did show how much I love my parents, and they are the one who stood by me till today, but then again there is no denying that I’ll part from them sooner or later. But I keep myself concealed in fear of losing them sooner. Superstitious ??? Well try being me…..

Its so depressing everytime I put my heart, it just gets broken. Now I am left with shatterd pieces..

Where Fantasy and Reality Cross Paths…..cursed for life…….

Women almost killed me!!!

Yeah u read it right alrite, but hey this aint gonna be one of those anti-women content arite..It is just revealing an experience of mine.

Yesterday I went down to KL, for some personal issues. The journey back was fine and all... Until everytime I came behind a lady driver.


Scene 1

I was closing in behind this lady driver, fast, and guess what she was in the fast lane...Well after a few seconds of close contact with the rear of her car, I lost my patience and decided to overtake her from the middle lane....Just as I took my left , she took a turn as well, and without a signal...And the best part was that I dont think she hardly saw her rear mirror, to know if the car behind her's is overtaking or not. Getting frustrated of all this, i shift my gear down and revved all the way up to the third lane and overtook her. Kind of crazy, but I was observant of my surroundings and made it.


And just as i thought the rest of the journey going to be smooth sailing....


Scene 2

When I reached KL, it was about 8 am, and i expected the traffic to be crawling, and so it is. Somewhere, along the way I miss timed the clutch and accelerator, resulting in my car to die off in the middle of the crawling road and making it worse, my car had trouble reigniting. After turning off the air cond and the radio, i switched on the double signal and waited for few seconds before reigniting it again. Wholaaa, the car started and since the traffic behind is pilling up i decided to move as fast as possible. By now the vacant distance between me and the car ahead would be about 5 meters. I accelerated the car fast to clear of the traffics. All this while when i was stuck no one took the initiative to take over my vacant space...But as i started moving, I saw this car just put signal to take a right turn towards the vacant space, but since i was quite fast and the general rule of thumb is that you shouldn't turn right after hitting the signal, expecting people to understand and slow down. Its u who must be careful and observant enough to take the turn when it is safe...But no, this lad 1st second hit the signal and 2nd second she took the turn, bhammmmm......No people no accident, thank god for the new tyres I managed to stop the car...When I overtook the car later on, I realised it was another lady driver....Sigh...


People just wanna kill me for reasons I am not aware off....


Scene 3

Was looking for a car park, and I was passing by this car in a slow rate not knowing if she wants to get out, so i decided to wait, and belive me i didnt block her car. She got enough space to come out, but heck what happened next really freaked me out. Let me tell that she was driving a BMW 7 series, and I am alone in my WIRA.. As i was waiting, for her to come out looking at her now lit reverse light, suddenly the image became bigger...Lost??? Well this lady, didnt see if there is any 1 behind, the moment she hit the reverse gear, she just slammed the accelerator and the care came so close into perpendicularly smashing me. Thank god my car was also in reverse gear then, and my reflexes were fast enough to move away... Lucky me and pity her, she end up smashing the wall. Gone the pride of a 7 series...


I really wonder why would female drivers if they are not good, they would like to get big cars...Showy I guess...Just get some rich bf and get the prestige, nothing with their own money...but just showing off... Perhaps those women who eraned the prestige with their own effort could drive better cus they know how to appreciate things...And in my case....bloody hell..what a day was it for me....Please ladies...i need love not death!!!

Where Fantasy and Reality Cros Paths.....The Hunt has Begun.....

Adam and Eve (Dumb & Disastrous) rewritten : little bit of 18sx

Adam : Shag.... Shag..... Shag.....Apahal...everyday also shag saja...Like no better work to do....

Eve : What else to do...Itu Kambing....ooopsss sorry, GOD created me to keep you accompanied...So all i can do to you is keep u accompanied....

Adam : Btw....GOD buat lu, sama saya punya rib bone right???

Eve : Uh...Uh.....

Adam : Then why u got 2 balls up there, while i oy got Lapangan Terbang Antara Syurga...

Eve : (mumbles)...GOD created me to accompany a dumbass...Well Darliiiinngg...GOD created both of us not to know anything u remember....

Adam : Not knowing anything??? Then how I know why HE create me...(playing with his 2 nuts wondering why EVE doesn't have it)

Serpent : (With its cool shades and a rapping tone )... Yo, yo, yo, whatsup my naked ADAM and EVE...Boy, aint u got some banana ADAM...u've been working out, bro?...And EVE, my oh my EVE, now have anyone told u what a bomb u are???

Adam and Eve : (both looked puzzled)...

Adam : Mr. Snake what u blabbering aboutlarr...Speaketh English pleaseee.....Kalau susah, kami faham Bahasa Melayu jugak...No Pastle Tongue pleaseee....

Serpent : What the toot? U mates knew nothing about what i say????Wtf, u guys must have been missing whole load of fun stuffs in life, like weeds and booze as well...

Adam : U talk ur language to urselflarr...Tarak boleh pakai punya ulat....cheh..(walks away)

Serpent : (Went to EVE), me laydeeeee....u know why both of u r dumbass.???

Eve : Looks like u even bigger dumb ass...If I know why I dumbass...would I be a dumb ass, dumbass!!(by now she is confused with what she said and see angels in her head)

Serpent : Errrr...By the way the fact that u do not know anything is because u still havent ate the forbidden fruit ... U makan and seelarr....

Eve : Sah, proven, you adalah lebih dumbass daripada saya... SIRIM approved. Dah forbidden, mana boleh makan worrrr....Itu GOD pun ada cakap, kennot worrr....

Serpent : Belum cuba belum tahu, sudah cuba nak selalu....

Eve : Ayoyoyoyo, yakarrr...Mr. Snake...No wonder u so cool....U got taste the fruit before???

Serpent : Call me Serpent, Mr Serpent..Finger lickin' good i cakap sama u....KFC pun kalah...

Eve : KFC???

Serpent : Nvmind that u go trylarrr...

Eve : Oklarrr....But let me get some for ADAM...makan sama-sama, boleh jadi cool sama-sama....Sama - sama, bersama Samsung....Leng Chai...enah....for u my love...

Adam : Wtf is this....(a big gasp), ini adalah buah keramat yang dilarang oleh yang amat mulia daripada kita mengapnya....Mengapakah kenda menghulurkan ini pada kanda.??

Eve : Amboi-amboi, belum makan sudah berbahasa Klasik yah...Makan dan tengoklarr....Sure power punya, KFC pun kalah...

Adam : KFC???

Eve : Errr... Just forget about itlarr....Come mere pyaar....my honey....wo men leng chai...oh my preety2 boy, I love u, like I never loved anyone before u...Oh my leng chai2 wo ai nee...like i never ai nee any leng chai because there is no one else here...masa untuk manja telah tamat.sila buka mulut besar-besar...hah buka.!!!!buka cepat!!!!

Adam : Tidaakkkkk.....Say TAKNAK.....hmpppphh....kargh, kargh,kargh....emmmmm...Lagi satu.....

And so they ate together...After that, well its too long and my brain is exhausted trying to come up with a funny translation....But I',m sure many of you would have knew what happened after that...

Anyway I got this inspiration from my church... The Pastor, was talking about something from the book of Genesis, and as ususal since I am too damn sleepy, I decided to wonder around the bible at the book of Genesis and went a little further then what the pastor was preaching about...

And it just made me wonder, what would have happened if Adam and Eve had never eaten the food...Would we have existed... Would I be here questioning the truth about Jesus, when my heart is pounding me hard to have faith... I dont know....

But no doubt, I got my revelation as well...though it isn't the same with what the pastor was talking about, but i'm happy i was revealed a long standing secret.... That WOMEN are dumb and disastrous.... MEN as always no matter how dumb they can be, they will still evaluate the situation with their peanut brain, thus if they sense danger, they will refuse to indulge in....Just like how ADAM walked away in my version...But EVE, dumb and dumber in one body and then caused the disaster we are facing now...by melting ADAM to break the forbidden rule....

There you go ladies and gentleman, boys and girls and children of all ages...The sermont today ends here...

P.S : I hope no Christian group hunt me down for this, No Churches begs me to give sermont at their churchess...seeing that I have just revolutionized something...and please ohhh GOD, this was just a joke to reach out to ur people in a simpler way....Please don't put me in HELL for that...Start Fastinggg......And also, ladies I am still single...Don't hate me...pleaseeeeeeee

Where Fantasy and Reality Cross Paths......sermont habis, boleh tidur.....

Lost of Myself

Work load is nothing that I couldn't handle, but being stuck in the section I dont like with invisible but obvious stereotyping and discrimination left me weak and hopeless..

I wasn't like this before. I used to be very strong in term of "come what may". I was always calm and handled all sort of pressures and intense situation like nobody's business. I use to belive in the quote of a speech I heard last time - "One person can make a difference". It may not sound too realistic but hell I kept that in mind and stood strong no matter how heavy the burden bestowed upon me.

But heck when she left me I was really torn apart. It was like my whole strenth was gone. I became so weak and fragile ever since. I will get angry and became irritated over small things. I have low tolerance level these days plus I reckon i fail to handle pressures well these days. Heck about being one person and making a difference... I was one against not the whole world, but only 3 people. Yet I failed.

Some may say I took a big hit on my ego. Some may call me pathetic for not moving on. And as for me, I am just another dead man walking...

Things took even a curvier turn after my training... It was ok when were in training, cus I always have new department to look forward to, and friends to complaint and make fun about...But now....

One is watching gondolas going up and down.

The other is watching everybody else from near yet far away place

One more watches me pathetically everyday from a comforting position..

And I dont know how else to put what else I think off....

The bottom line is that I am doomed.. I am so weak that I wish so badly I can regain myself back, but hell I am just so numb. Got numb of the tortures and filthy words of others that mock me... Some how I cant get up.. My previous self would have kicked all these butts flat out, but now I am just letting people, to get over my head... Its not that I dont wanna do anything, but I'm just lost....Lost of being myself...

Somehow I just wish she could come back in my life, so that I can regain my strength, so that I will be able to endure anything and everything once again... So that I can "come what may" once again. Looks like in my case one person can't make a difference after all...I need another... The soul I was lost off...Well dont blame me for loving...

I just wish one last time I'm give the strength back again, so I can endure everything calmly.. I like myself better when I'm calmly dealing with pressures...Nowadays I hate myself for losing myself...

Where Fantasy and Reality Cross Paths....I am sooooo...lost of myself...